


Time Goes Quicker, Between The Two Of Us

by PeachGlitch



Category: Carol (2015), The Price of Salt - Patricia Highsmith
Genre: Comfort, Domestic Fluff, F/F, Older Woman/Younger Woman, Post Movie, Self-Esteem Issues, post book
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 09:33:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25847389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeachGlitch/pseuds/PeachGlitch
Summary: Carol starts to worry about the age difference between her and Therese.
Relationships: Carol Aird/Therese Belivet
Comments: 18
Kudos: 117





	Time Goes Quicker, Between The Two Of Us

It was subtle, at first. Easily ignored, and no real cause for concern.

The lingering self doubt, that had always been simmering beneath the surface of her kept together facade. She’d always been able to hide her insecurities behind a well placed mask of haughtiness. She knew she was a master of looking naturally elegant and calm. While all the while behind her armour of bright red lipstick and fur coats she was flailing.

It was an act she’d kept up most of her life. Even during the early stages of her friendship with Therese. She’d taken charge. Appearing confident, smug even, around the younger woman. Until she’d been caught out, when Harge had turned up home after they’d put up the Christmas tree with Rindy. She felt, back then, as if she had been caught out. But to her surprise her lack of perfection hadn’t frightened Therese off. And so their relationship had blossomed.

After all the drama of their early courtship, life had finally begun to settle down. The modest apartment they shared felt more like a home to her, than the large house in the country she’d lived in during her marriage. They even had a small room for Rindy, when she visited. Therese had helped her decorate. It had taken a day and a half, but it was perfect. Harge had grumbled about it to begin with, but even he didn’t seem so bitter about the situation anymore.

But like with most things in her life. Just as she was feeling safe and secure, something had ruined it all. It was trivial as far as problems went. And Carol felt almost ashamed at herself for letting such a little thing trigger her hidden anxieties. Trouble was, this little issue wasn’t _really_ the issue. It’s what it represented, that was her real cause for concern. Who would of known something as mundane as newly sprouted grey hair, would of been the catalyst of her questioning everything.

In some lights it was barely noticeable at all. Like thin threads of silver silk, that easily blended with her blonde hair for a while, until they became more prominent. Each time she spotted one, wherever she was, she would yank it out harshly.

She shouldn’t be suprised, most women of her age had completely grey hair by now. She should be thankful really, that it had taken this long to happen to her. But she wasn’t. Not when things had finally begun to settle, not when her life was finally going the way she wanted and not when she was seeing a woman like Therese. The age gap hadn’t been something she’d ever really considered before. Abby had warned her once about it, but for once she’d ignored her best friends concern. Now as time wore on and the woman sleeping peacefully in her bed exuberated youth and beauty. Carol suddenly felt utterly inadequate in comparison.

As she sat quietly near her vanity, trying to spot more grey strands, her blue eyes began to scrutinise other parts of her.

The lines on her face looked deeper. Of that she was sure. She was bare face at that moment, so could pin point each and every wrinkle on her once flawless features like a radar. She lifted her finger up to her eyelid and pushed up, then watched defeatedly as her skin slowly sagged back down. Her jaw clenches tightly in annoyance and she looks away.

Therese is still asleep on her stomach in their large queen sized bed. The covers come up to the small of her back. Revealing an expanse of soft, porcelain skin. Her eyes trail over her form for a moment, before she turns her attention back onto herself. She glances down at her stomach. Carol had never been over weight. Even now, for a woman of her age she was slender. But defineitly not as aethletic as she once was in her youth. Designer dresses and pencil skirts, and of course hidden gurdles , gave her the illusion of a perfect figure. Yet sat down, in nothing but a cotton night gown, she could easily see the outline of a small pudge of fat on her abdomen. It was nothing to do with her diet, which she watched carefully ever since giving birth. This was to do with time, and how it was catching up on her.

Her hands reach for a pack of discarded cigarettes next to her bottle of perfume. She lights it in one fluid motion, inhales and then exhales the smoke up into the air. Carol wonders when she had started to change. She remembers so vividly how beautiful she’d once been. Recalls how she knew how good she looked, and used it throughout her life to her advantage. She’d seen the way strangers looked at her. Hell, it’s what caught Therese’s eye back that one December at the toy store. She feels a million miles away from that woman she used to be right now. And doubts that Therese would of shown an interest in her if she’d turned up like this that day.

Carol tries not to think about what that means. Takes another puff of smoke and banishes thoughts of Therese losing interest in her, once she was all grey and wrinkled, while she was still in the bloom of her youth. She wouldn’t blame her though, not really. But it frightened her, the thought of loosing someone who meant so much to her. Apart from Rindy, and even Abby; Therese was the one person she felt she could be herself around. Her aloof exterior cracked, and she could behave exactly how she wanted. Without feeling she was being judged constantly. She would not make Therese stay with her out of her own selfishness though. And when the time came when the younger woman inevitably wanted to move on to someone closer to her age and less haggard, she would not stop her. Would not hold her back.

“Carol?” A sleepy voice disturbs her inner thoughts, her eyes instantly meet with Therese’s through the mirror.

She exhales some more smoke, then smiles tightly at her. “Go back to sleep, darling. It’s very late.” Her low octave voice, trembles slightly as she speaks.

Therese, who’s sleep tousled hair looks adorable, notices straight away. She shuffles, so she’s sitting up against the headboard. Her small hands hold up the covers over her breasts. “Then why are _you_ up?” She asks, as she stifles a yawn.

Carol sighs, before stumping out her cigarette. She twists on the stool, so she can look directly at Therese. Mercifully the only light, is that of the moon which shines through the window. It casts shadows over Theres’s sharp features, but not enough to illuminate her. “There was a noise that woke me.” She lies easily, so used to it during her marriage to Harge. “It was nothing to worry about though, but then I found myself restless.”

Therese looks unconvinced, but doesn’t call her out. Surely she knows what a heavy sleeper she is. Knows that it only took minutes for her to pass out once her head touched a pillow. Silently she merely taps at the empty space next to her. “Come back to bed.” She beckons, so different from the girl she’d met all that time ago. Therese was most definitely a woman now. Powerful and self assured in her own right. She reminded Carol more and more of herself, once upon a time. “Carol?” She speaks again, a little louder, and Carol realises she’s not moved or said anything.

She nods, before reluctantly getting up to walk towards their bed. She lifts the covers up on her side, and settles in on her back. She hears Therese mutter under her breath, before she feels a strong arm pulling her closer. She doesn’t move though, simply lies there with Therese’s arm draped over her stomach.

“You feel tense.” Therese says as her fingers draw idle circles on her hip. It feels nice over the cotton of her night dress. But Carol worries that she can feel the softness there, where she used to be taunt and firm.

“Do I?” Carol feigns ignorance. “Must be the cold air.”

Therese doesn’t relent. “It’s not cold.” She states. And Carol can feel her eyes boring into her side profile. “What’s wrong?” She asks, sounding worried.

Carol swallows a lump in her throat. She’s not sure if she should be honest. Feels a little embarrassed even at the thought of telling Therese what she’d been thinking about at the vanity. “I...” she starts to speak, but falters and stops herself.

“Are you angry at me because I ruined your dress?” Therese guesses innocently. Carol remembers how earlier, when Therese had started to kiss her on the couch, and things became heated quickly. That she had ordered her to be careful with the buttons of her new dress. However they were both caught up in the moment, and Therese had ripped the buttons open without thinking.

“Of course I’m not.” Carol insists, finally turning to look at Therese. “How could I be? When the outcome was far more desirable than the silly garment.” She teases, and smiles when she sees a slight blush on Therese’s face, even in the darkness.

“Okay then. What is it? I can tell something is bothering you.” She repeats, and Carol’s smile turns into a thin line across her face.

Her hand reaches up to cup Therese’s cheek, as she turns around to lie facing her. “You’re stunning, do you know that?” She says. “Truly, an angel. And I...well I’m getting older. I just don’t want you to regret this thing between us as time goes on. Or feel obliged to stay with me if you...if you no longer find me attractive.”

Therese’s hand on her hip tightens. “What are you talking about? I don’t care how old you are. Which for the record isn’t _old_ in the first place. Not to mention you’re breathtaking. Inside and out, so don’t say things like that.”

Carols hand pushes back a strand of brunette hair behind Therese’s ear. It’s starting to grow out of the short style she’s accustomed to. “Oh, that’s sweet of you to say, but I am. I’m twice your age and it’s starting to show. I know you’ve noticed my hair for starters. I saw you looking at me while I was brushing it the other morning, and when I was pulling out a grey strand at the restaurant while we had dinner.”

“Do you remember that day I took your photograph while you were looking at a Christmas tree?” Therese asks out of nowhere. Ignoring her comment about her hair. “And then again at the diner. And well, all those other times?”

“Yes. Of course I do.” She responds earnestly. Although not sure how any of this was relevant.

 _ _“__ I take your picture because I’ve never seen anyone as beautiful as you before in my whole life. Back then I didn’t know how things would turn out. I wanted a photo to remember you by just incase.” She admits. “As for whatever you think I was looking at the other day, trust me when I say I look at you whenever we are in the same room. Because you’re still the most beautiful woman I know. Always will be, grey hair and all _ _.”__

Carol feels tears prickle the corners of her eyes. “I don’t know what to say. T-that was a while ago now, I’m not-

 _ _“__ Not what? Just as beautiful as you were that day. Actually no, you’re _more_ beautiful to me now. There’s not one thing about you I’d change. If I could take your photo every day for the rest of my life I would.” Therese interupts, but Carol doesn’t mind. She lets her hand drop to rest between them. But does scoot up a little closer to the woman next to her.

“I hardly deserve you, Therese.” She says quietly, “but I’m thankful.”

Therese leans forward and gently kisses the tip of her nose. “Flung out of space, remember? Now quit your over thinking. That’s my job.” Carol smiles, then nods. _  
_

She allows herself to be pulled in by Therese. She rests her head on her chest, just above her breast. The sound of her beating heart comforts her, and relaxes her until she can barely keep her eyes open.

“And, Carol?” Therese’s voice echos just above her head.

“Yes?” She sighs, already almost asleep.

“Not that it matters, but your hair isn’t even _really_ grey. I mean, maybe a little at the temples, but hardly noticeable. And _definitely_ not what catches my attention when I look at you. But if it really bothers you, I’m sure we can find a bottle of peroxide, like what the movie stars use. You’d give Marilyn a run for her money that’s for sure.” She giggles, and Carol smiles once again, against her skin. Her self doubt vanishes into nothingness, before she falls into a dreamless sleep.


End file.
